Detaching

I can't remember where I read this. But I really wish I did because I think I really need it again.

So many 'I' in that paragraph.

Something along the lines "Learn to recognise those feelings and detach yourself from it"

Nowhere near positive sounding, huh? In fact now that I'm reading it again, it sounds terrible! Emotional detachment? Seriously?

Maybe that's why I'm such a horrible person. Hmm... 

But well, it helped when I needed it to. I mean, it stopped me from entering mindless crushes..  (no offense but well I didn't want to crush on anyone then and it totally helped keep it in check). Helped when I got jealous or angry.

Special exceptions to those moments when detachment just wasn't possible Oops.

Like...  It let me step back and examine those feelings as neutrally as possible. Why am I feeling jealous or angry? Why do I feel inclined to that person?

Although more often than not I'd step back, or run as far as possible, before throwing that feeling away to settle down my emotions.

I know, I know. Running away! The coward's way out! DISHONOUR!

I can hear it all man. 'Learn to control your emotions, running away isn't the answer. One day it'll catch up with you and you'll have to face it eventually. Stand and confront those feelings and make peace with yourself!'

And so on and so forth.  Right? Right??

But right now, I really need to stop those demons from getting hold of me again.

Tch

Yeah I'm a pretty terrible person.

When will I ever learn to be a better person, be less selfish, less angsty and less stupid!

Okay that last one. Idk mann.

Alright maybe less judgemental.

Oh well I guess... 2016 goals?

HAH. As if that would ever happen

Double Standards

Double standards, or am I expecting too much?

Like seriously. I get it that everyone has their own secrets and stuff they don't want to share, but I just can't help but feel as though there's this kind of ... double standards going around and it's starting to annoy me  a lot.

I mean, when people ask me things, I'm always more than happy to share. Right? Even if it's not a straight reply, the answer somehow still finds its way there.

"Must tell me hor!" is usually followed up by an update. I say usually because there're always instances where I genuinely forget or I just don't want to tell you.

So what's my beef? I mean, if there are times where even I don't want to tell people things, surely I must understand that people won't want to tell me things too?

Gosh this is starting to sound more and more petty. But since I'm already halfway through this, oh well.

Well, yeah I get it, there are things people won't want to share.

Double standard comes in when you ask me something and expect me to reply, but when I ask that back to you, you don't want to tell me anything. All day all night, seriously.

I mean come on la. Only reason why I get so annoyed is because we're supposed to be good friends right? Or is it my problem that I pour out all details to you and I shouldn't expect that in return?

Maybe it's really just me who's the problem, yeah? Like, I shouldn't be so open about my stuff and shouldn't expect people to be either.

Honestly. Why ask people questions that you're not prepared to answer yourself?

Okay, whatever. I accept that I'm expecting way too much. Go on with your lives everyone, I guess I'm done ranting. Hey, I even got a reflection out of it! How awesome is that.

BYE.