Stupid game

It's just a stupid game but I feel so goddamn demoralized from freaking constantly losing cos I've been losing to everyone since like the beginning of time and I just suck at everything and I really hate it like tell me how to enjoy myself when I'm constantly dying even though I'm trying but obviously not enough because I'm still freaking dying and losing in the stupid game like 5-8 freaking times to get a Vista what the freak I'm like world's greatest loser and fail for getting that dumb Vista and every single damn time they want to pvp I always lose like why what the hell and Oh of course I find that do fun, being pounded over again and again of course that's entertaining but of course that's my problem again because I didn't learn well or try hard enough well I'm stupid anyway and I suck in life and I'm dumb so it doesn't really matter now does it and I had a point here I forgot where I was going with this ugh whatever I suck at that stupid game and I'm angry and upset so whatever

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It's so hard.
Going through wave after wave of conflicting emotions, tearing uncontrollably, then furiously blinking them all back.

Yet nothing I do will bring her back.

Why Oh why

Why is it that those sec school kids can afford a llao llao each on their own while the only times I have ever eaten them are when I'm sharing with a friend and they can be eating that kinda pricey yogurt but I'm trying to find cheap dinners why