You know what ? I'm just gonna tell her that. Take my advice and don't listen to me. 

Yeah, I should. But since the blog's.. non-commentable, I think I'll just write a note and give her tomorrow.. as discreetly and possible, hm. 

BTW. LOL How could I forget. 

People are making a fuss over Valentine's Day. LOL 

No offence people. 

But.. To be honest, I had totally forgotten about it. Heh. 

Forever alone LOL. 

Hey wait, I wonder if I've mentioned this before...

Hm =/. 

Oh well, off to prepare for damn school tomorrow! 

Till then~

Stalking

Hello again LOL. 

Yess. I'm back from a five minute stalk on my friend online. 

Not to mention the 3 second snoop on my dad's phone. >< It was ringing so .. I went to look at the incoming ...whatsapp message thingy. 

Thank god iPhones are 'idiot phones' . Otherwise, snooping can get a lil' difficult. =P 

So. Like I've said/thought before. Stalking is a great way of .. discovering more about people and realising that they're just putting on a brave front etc. 

To be mean, maybe one can say they're being fake to cover up their insecurities. YES I KNOW. I do that too. Welcome my fake friends. LOL. I'm joking. Joking! Really. 

And, well. Here are my findings today! 

Friend S. Man if she sees this, it's so DAMN obvious. Oh well. I'mma take a risk. 

She's feeling insecure again. I was looking for a 'comment' thingy to .. well comment on that post and cheer her up but I couldn't find any. =/

Apparently she likes someone and...well. Same old storyline being played over and over in everyone's life. Afraid that that someone would like someone better. Another prettier, smarter, more attractive person. Thin, too. 

Isn't it funny? Ironic, maybe? How she  fears that she isn't good enough, that there's someone out there better than her when she herself is that someone I feel is better than me. 

YES. 

I share her exact same fears. Only I know who the 'someone better' is. Her and the other gal friend. 

Come on! They are SO popular. SO pretty/cute. Everyone, everyone loves and cares for them. Friendly with them. ( Yeah its my fault on that last one) 

But still. 

Makes me jealous much ><. 

She's afraid of being inferior; when she is the one that makes me feel inferior! 

I guess Life is just having fun screwing around with our confidence. One after another. Next thing I know, the uber pretty, cute and popular girl in school is worrying about being ugly and not well-liked. 

That'd be really .... dumb. 

WAIT. Completely sidetracked. 

I was talking about her. 

Geez if only writing in my diary were as easy as typing. 

Ahem. Anyway.

According to her, she's been bottling up everything and 'sucking up and moving on'. 

How strangely familiar. Damnit friend, my bad. Take my advice and don't listen to me. 

Yeah I was the one who mentioned 'sucking up and moving on'. 

I feel responsible for it. I'm sorry my friend ><. My advice sucks, yeah. 

Bottling up messed up feelings is never good. Oh ho trust me, I know. 

On the other hand, since my .. feeling-tolerance level is not so high, bottling lesser than what they can makes me want to break down. 

Yeah just call me Miss Weak. 

No, don't. It's for me, not you. 

LOL. 

The good thing is.. she's gonna take responsibility for her life etc. I guess we all have our own different ways of relieving stress and dealing with the shit Life throws at us huh. 

Just another reminder to appreciate my life no matter how crappy I think it is, because there is always someone out there who feels the same for other reasons or just have a worse life. 

Easier said than done, yeah. 

'Don't judge other people's lives because what they are going through is just as difficult for them as it is for you and your life.' 

I know, I know. Statement changes all the time but the meaning's still the same. 

Okay I shall end here. 

Cheers~RockOn \(^-^)

..

Ughh here we go again. 

I'll be nice ~. I hope. 

And I do wish this comp won't lag. 

Like when I type 'enter'. Dude! I haven't used you for days. Compared to when I was playing my games all the time, this is holiday. Be nicer to me comp ~

Holy shit. Since when did my enter button turn into a backspace?! 

OMG. Okay comp. I'll stop singing in front of you if that's what you're being pissed about .. 

Wait!! Totally sidetracked from what I was going to say. 

... Okay dude-comp. Stop being so random! 

Ahem forget it. 

Nice timing man. Just when I was wondering if you're done making use of me, you come back all upset and expecting the 'treat ppl how etc.' 

Hm. This is totally public so pray no one sees this random crap. 

Yeah I could just put it in drafts but .. where's the satisfaction in that! LOL. No sense. OK NVM HAHA. 

Holy crap this comp is really random. 

Hm. 

But since well .. i dunno .. 

OKay forget it, gotta go unc's house soon. When my sis wakes up HAHA

OMG Worse nightmare ever. What if my mom discovers this site?! SCREWED MAX. 

OKAY not gonna think about that. 

Byee

Cheers~Rock on \(^-^)/ 

Not really, actually. 

Oh well~

*Prays* 

Yo

So. 
I'm back here again haha. 
Upset as usual .. 
Yesterday was fun, second day of Game's day. Capnet, though we sucked, ( Loss and Draw ) was DAMN awesome. 
E2 was damn sad though ... their opponents even had the CHEEK to say 'Cry then cry la!'
Slap them eh. Bloody insensitive. Hello? You won only by rematch. Keep your kpkb mouths shut. People were upset ok. Show some goddamn feelings.
Okay I don't know much about what happened after that but yeah. 
This morning I saw this really irritating scene; her and him. I wonder if i'll remember this next time. Oh well. I hate him. 
My best pal was there too and being cool as he is, just took it in his stride and continued his day. That arse. Some friend he is. MY best pal is AWESOME for tolerating your ... disgusting acts. ( My opinions, don't like then shaddup and don't read. ) Puh-leese your face is just so pukable. 
OKAY enough said about him. Ruined my whole morning. 
Obviously I made sure they looked at my bitchy look of disgust before walking on. YES I admit, I was being a bitch. He's not my friend so why should I care. 
Well cos I didn't like his face. One of the reasons. 
AND after that, I naturally ( naturally for ME ) got pissed at her. 
GREAT -.- Yesterday was I got a little pissed at her(S) cos of capnet. She didn't come. Dumb reason but hey we were all willing to work with them .. 
K FINE not my place to say. 
Anyway. 
What was I upset about? 
Ohh. Yeahh. 
So. Like. Someone started ignoring my entire existance, and yeah. Basically. Yet my other gal friends still talk to him and all that. -.- Failmax please ( Myself ) 
Nice of them to rub it in too. Well not on purpose of course, they're not bad people. Yet I can't help feeling upset. 
I'm dying for company and ... and I'm just not giving myself any. 
OKAY maybe I'm just venting and blaming everyone for RANDOM SHIT because I'm DAMN pissed at myself for not being able to be .. like how I wish I could be. 
Popular girls. They get ALL the nice special treatment from people. 
It gets hard walking in their shadow all the time .. 
YEAH like one moment I'm talking, next moment BAM they come in and I can just stop talking because *attention diverted!* 
Okay. Guess I'm jealous that they have such nice people as friends. Yeah like their friends from other classes still remain their close pals and mine ... I can only watch. 
CCAs are such pain in the heart now. I just watch them all go off and play together while I'm like #foreveralone. 
Sucks. 
Oh well. I've said it so many times before, suck it up. 
And I should.

Perhaps if I were alone, I wouldn't hurt anyone and no one could hurt me. Every day in school is like torture. I hate it so much. I have to see everyone being what I always want to be.
I tried and ended up alone again and again.
I wasn't really joking when discussing best places to jump. Seemed like a good idea to just end it sometimes.
Hate being alone.. Even with the company of people the feeling never fades.
Smile, and suck it up.
You're on your own again.
Good things just never last

I must be really bored to be doing this eh. 
Headache now -.- 
I know I said I wanted to fall sick, but FOR GOD'S SAKE I DIDN'T MEAN DURING THE NEW YEAR! 
Oooo 11:11! 
Okay that's lame. LOL. 
Did I mention the frame I received yesterday? MAN I have no idea where to put it ! 
Okay being 16 is like, no different. 
Doesn't even feel like my birthday was yesterday =o 
Oh well. 
Growing old =/ 
Life gets more boring. 
LOL 
Okay. Maybe I'll post later. 
For fun obviously. 
No one can stalk me heh. 
THE unknown LOL 
Yeah right. 
As long as they don't find this place! 
OK Gonna go. 
Byee~


Me 
Obviously. 
Who else ? LOL 
11:14am. 
Don't trust the timing shown below 

Was gonna write in my awesome diary about today but damn tired now haha ><. Today was really great! Like one of the best birthdays I've ever had :P I have such wonderful friends :) thanks everyone for today!
And sadly, I'm finally 16.
Damn I sound old.
And to think I have friends who turned 15 last month!
Man I feel old!
Kk so I'm gonna sleep.
Thanks for today people!
Sam and Xi En : I'm so finding somewhere to hide that pic heh. You guys are so mean hahahaha!! XP

Cheers and rock on!
Me
Obviously.
=)
\(^-^)/
Bye!

Man I'm such a terribly selfish, self-centered person! -.- that sucks

How can I expect anyone to listen to my problems when I can't do well the same for others? I'm such a fool.

Omg the timing is like so off...

Man. Font ain't look good but it sure is fun!

Testing with the iPod!

Um ok.. I wonder if this works at all!

Back again HAHAHA.

Hello! 
Again. 
LOL. 
So. Last time I posted was like, what, one year? 
ONE YEAR TRADITION OH YEAH! 
Okay. That's majorly lame. 
MAN can't believe what I typed in my last post! Better start praying no one saw it.. 
You know, blogs can be like a SUPER AWESOME way of stalking people heh~ ^^
One moment you think you know someone, one blog later BAM you realise you don't know them at all.
Thank god again ( I'm no christian, just an expression ) no one ( I hope ) visits this supposedly dead blog. 
So. 
Hm. 
OMG I just read Shu Ang's dead blog and it's like DAMN FUNNY! XD 
So freaking honest that it's so funny. 
Oh yeah waittt, I wanted to type about the school year heh. 
Last day of being 15 in a lifetime =/ How sad. 
Okay. So now I'm secondary 4. AIR CON CLASSROOMS YEAH
O Levels BOO. 
Yeah my school did HORRIBLE last year and now all the teachers STRESSED. Trying to make us 'buck up' to make up for the horrible results. 
Oh well. =/ 
CNY soon! So early this year == 
Hm. So. Should I talk about 'feelings' and all that crap? =o 
I'm not exactly that kind of girl =/ 
Yeah somewhat sadly, sometimes I think I'm being seen as 'one of the guys'. 
OKAY come on man, off to the hair salon, chop my not-so-long black locks off and I'm good to go as a DUDE! 
NO WAY. I'm still like, a freaking GIRL even though I play LoL and WarCraft. 
I do play Sims3 okay! That's girly enough. Right..? 
Don't answer. 
HAHA. 
Hey this is fun. 
Okay so. Hm. Should I say it ? 
Okay. I deleted someone's number == ( prays no one sees this again ) 
Actually I didn't have to say that.
Already did in my UBER AWESOME SECRET diary =PP 
Meaning to say, I've stopped talking to someone. Yes. That shall be that person's name
GEEZ I'm SO procrastinating! 
Should totally be studying my Social Studies now. 
Ahh LATER LATER. C= 
Hm. 
Ah. I was talking about 'feelings'. 
WAIT. I said I'm not that type of girl. 
Ooooo Look! I'm typing faster now MWAHAHAHA. 
OMIGODDD FREAKING LAME. 
No one will ever see that. 
YEAH RIGHT. Internet is SO DAMN PUBLIC. 
What was I saying? Ah! about someone. 
I'm not going to say that I miss someone. Cos' that is SO not my image/style. 
Though the truth?  I dunnno heh. 
Guess someone's been nice enough to me for a year.
=/
...
Okay fine, I'm not good at letting go, especially this. 
OH DID I MENTION! 
I WENT TO CHINA XDD
Damn fun. 
DAMN FUN! 
Have I mentioned it was fun? xD
But sadly someone ... just well. OKAY not gonna talk about someone. 
Wait before that, I have something terrible to say. 
I get jealous ALL the time over things I SHOULDN'T. 
Like them talking to someone and having so much fun. 
Such a miserable life eh, Adam? 
Our ' someones' talking to each other and ignoring us. 
Okay dude, if you see it, don't reply that ><. 
Or maybe in korean! =D 
My UBER AWESOME best pal ^^ 
Yeah I'm admitting that here, not to you directly heh. 
( Prays you never find my blog though that's not really possible since I sort of stupidly brought it up to you 15 mins ago ) 
Yeah dude if you find this and happen to see the previous post, .......
Okay PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't confront me about that ( I'm talking about down to two knees begging NONONONO ) 
Embarrassing much 
Yeah. 
Physics test wasn't that bad. Felt so damn happy after that. 
OMG. It's 7.05pm alr ?? 
Noooo I don't wanna turn 16!!!! 
=/ 
Sadness.
Oh well! 
Okay okay I have to admit. 
I read Sam's blog. 
And well. Eye-opener much! 
Made me realise AGAIN that everyone has their own problems, and NEVER judge or compare because what they're going through is just as hard for them as it is for you/myself. 
Fine fine I couldn't help comparing a little though. I mean, girl! I get what you're going through. But look on the bright side! 
EVERYONE loves you. 
You have friends everywhere. You don't realise that everyday, every single day I'm jealous of the both of you? 
Living something I've always wanted. Friends. Care. Family. Being able to express yourself well. Confident. 
Some stuff I'll never have at the present. 
And okay, I know that I have NEVER cared much about my looks ( call me ugly and I don't really give a damn ) but recently it's been affecting me a little. 
A little TOO MUCH. 
I hate caring about my looks like a girly girl. ( no offence people ) 
I mean, I know I'm not the best looking girl ever ... OKAY FINE. I don't look good at all -.- 
But ... I don't know... 
You see ? You guys have looks too. Cute/pretty/whatever there is. I know damn well I don't LOL. 
WAIT. This is supposed to go into my UBER AWESOME SECRET diary =PP. Not here! 
Crap. 
Okay since I'm too lazy to delete it. 
I'm not gonna care bout me looks. It's cool being treated like one of the dudes like last time anyway. 
Or at least, that's how I see it
Once again prays no one will ever ever ever EVER see this!!!!!
Wow! 
Such a long post. 
Okay I might as well stop here. 
JYS EVERYONE FOR THE Os!!!! 
Rock on! 


Me. 
LOL. 
Obviously. 
Not-so-silent prayer : Let the blog be unknown
( On the internet? Fat chance LOL ) 
Okays. 
BYE! 
=D
 

BACK HAHA

So.

I'm back.

After like, a year plus LOL.

Out of boredom, as usual.

Actually, I'm just REALLY upset and lonely. Thank god no one reads this DEAD blog anymore!

Well. My best pal's overseas. Yay he's coming back this week. Boo that I'm jealous all he thinks about it the girl he likes. ( FYI I HAVE NO DESIGNS ON HIM )

It's just that I try to help him so much, listen to him when he has problems, and when I have problems all he's thinking about is her ...

OKAY ANYWAY

It's the holidays ! YAY. And next year. O'Levels -.-

MAN THAT SUCKS

So fast !!

And I haven't even decided JC or POLY.

Well, wait. I was talking about being UPSET and LONELY.

Well.. then , there was this guy I messaged A LOT, I don't know why but he's suddenly .. gone. Like, not replying much. Not as .. the exactly the same. I wonder if he knows ...

OKAY WHATEVER. Probably thinking and worrying about the girl he likes.

MEN ARE ALL THE SAME !!!!!!!!!

At least have to decency to TELL me what i did !!

SIGH.

I'm so SICK AND TIRED of trying to help everyone and be nice to them!

Because, when I need someone to tell MY problems and SHIT ABOUT LIFE, everyone just DISAPPEARS.

Thanks so much man. I know you CARE so much -.-

MEN. ALL THE SAME.

Yes, yes. Women. The same also. But actually.. Not so much !

Well. What can i say ? I'm a feminist. =)

What else ... 

Oh well. Resigned to a fate of loneliness. They're all gone. I might as well accept that. 

Hm. Maybe I should use a blog more often ! NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT THIS EH ? HEH HEH HEH. 

OKAY Gonna sign out ! 

ROCK ON ! \(^-^ )

Me ~

Hello.
Yes its been a really long time since the last post ( hm maybe a year? ) But hey I've got a life too...
I'm just feeling bored so thats why I'm here :)
Yay! Speech Day's coming. Y'know this means ( hopefully ) LESSER TRAININGS!
But somehow I kinda doubt it =.=
Aaahh time passes fast...
I have this feeling Mom's gonna fight with Dad again == So whats new?
New? Hmm lets see....
Nothing much.
I'm begining to feel that I have NO life... Do I? ( Dont answer this! )
I mean almost everyday I eat with my Mom and study myself to exhaustion.
So maybe i DO have a life.
Yea I think I do.
So what was I talking about?
YES! Whats new in life.
Hm. How about friendship problems? I get this each year =.=
Last year I felt left out.
This year? Um... lets just say disagreements with someone I know :) What type of disagreements? I guess I just dont like the way he/she throws himself/herself at the seniors. I used to worry that he/she might be taken advantage for by the seniors but now.... I guess if thats the way he/she wants to show the seniors how capable he/she is, I dont really know what to say.
Life is so uncertain. I dont even know if the person reading this ( yes you ) hates me.
In any case, I'm not going to talk about stuff like this anymore today.
Life is so lonely. My entire family is working and its not like the dog can converse with me when I'm bored. And I get bored often.
And yet you get so edgy ( or how you spell it ) when I tell you I went to EHub 2 or 3 times with my friends.
MOM! ( If you're reading this )
I DO NOT HAVE A BOYFRIEND OR ANYTHING!! I swear! So please dont get so ( i-dont-know-how-to-say-it ) when I go to EHub white sands or where-ever. Just because those students "date" or whatever there, doesnt mean I will. I'm a good girl ( even if i do say so myself ). I've only been to mac to eat with my friends once WITH your consent.
OK. Enough of that.
Sounds like I'm complaining. Am I complaining? ( Fine answer this if you want )
Ok. I've got no more ideas on what to write.
So. I'm gonna sign off this post :)
Ooo the moon's out already!
okok side track :P I was signing off :))
So... Yea...
Signing off,
Yan Er

PS : Dont get irritated at the he/she thing :P Its irritating to type as well! But to hide the identity... Well you do the math!

PPSS : Yea its a rather long post so u dont have to really read it all :P Hm maybe i should put this on the top... Never mind! I'll let u discover this PPSS :P

Aaahhh bored bored bored.....
yay i got back my bio test results.... 24/25 woohoo!!!
got my report card too!! one c5..
chinese... of course!
one a1...maths!(yays)
rest all OK....
BORED BORED BORED
haha oh yea! SAW A GUY WEAR A BLOUSE AND SKIRT IN SCHOOL TODAY!!!!!
yesssss SHI SHUAN
haha he wore it the drama in literature cos he's playing Mrs Parker and OMG he looked so GIRL! im telling you if he wears a wig he's gonna look like a girl!!
the guys were being sick though... haha they kept pushing shi shuan at the chest area... y'know... the CHEST haha they kept trying to lift the skirt but he was wearing his sch. shorts below...
sean even crawled on the floor to try to see beneath the skirt!!!!
then this shi shuan even placed who knows what for the 'oranges'....he seriously looked as if he had boobs!
it was so funny! too bad i dont have a pisture of him in his woman clothes.... or i'll be jumping for joy and showing everyone HAHAHAHAHAHA
haha looks like he beats wee tat in gayness here! haha ( someone tell him? haha )
HEY! just because you're in NPCC or NCC doesnt mean you're better than Girl Guides!!! huh! thinking you guys are better? HAH! Harin cant even remember the commands properly so there!
okok nth much liao... guess i'll stop here then!
see ya people! =)

CA1 no more!

YES no more test!!!                                                                                                                                      
actually still got one more but.... heh heh                                                                                                   
haha today went to macdonalds with ayu, khoriyah, aqilah and sarah... to celebrate, of course! haha        
i actually passed my physics!! just passed, really.. haha 12.5/25 hahaaha                                                  
i was sooooo happy! i kinda expected to fail since i couldnt understand a single damn thing the teacher    was saying in phy. ....                                                                                                                                
pico! nano!! micro!!! tera!!!! giga!!!!! mega!!!!!! deci!!!!!!!                                                                        
How to use micrometer screw gauge! what is a scalar and vector!( like who cares!?!)                                 
anyway after school, three ppl said they lost their nike water bottle... weird!                                            
Shi Shuan didnt look happy but what the heck... Coey and Kazier didnt look that upset!( girls rule!)          
i passed my chinese as well! since it was compo writing i didnt think i'd fail... 29/50... still ok la... i          think!                                                                                                                                                           
Still trying to perfect the piano piece... the ending of the song was horrible! it was like play play play        then pause. find keys. then play play play.... ( wonder if u can understand )                                              
 oh shit! just remembered got art homework!                                                                                               
and nxt week got math re-test! ( yea i failed on that one.. 9/20)                                                                 
but that failure wasnt my fault! they anyhow type the negetive sign look like minus sign... haha               
and i still cant find a decent blogskin!                                                                                                        
oh yea btw,                                                                                                                                                 
did anyone see the double rainbow like... two days ago ( i think )? it was sooo cool! i took tons of pictures of it...                                                                                                                                                         
yesterday rain like siao... and gen hse the staircase look like waterfall.. again! took picture of that also... was laughing to myself at the bus-stop when i saw that...
first big fiasco at school yesterday!
some girls including me, were staying back in school to 'clean up' the classroom when one of us went to play with the projector screen...
and what happened?
we tried to pull it right and....
thak!( its a sound not a word! )
we pulled it too hard and it went to its max.
so?
cannot pull back up liao
we tried to put it right again but was unsuccessful...
so someone suggested we call the guys and hopefully they hadnt gone home yet...
so xi en called shi shuan (oh sarah's true love haha) and he came.
of course he couldnt pull it up so no choice we go tell teacher.
then he left with the other boys back to white sands... while we wrote a report on what happened.
hhahahaha cant stop laughing on this one!
we were wondering if we should add the guys name in the report, i mean they didnt doo anything and we didnt want to give them trouble or anything... so we called shi shuan... again.
and wtf?!?! he answered the phone; and he didnt know it!!!!!
we could hear him talking to his friends and he even said " who's phone is ringing? "
we tried all sorts of stuff to try and get his attention
" Ooi!! " , " HEY!!! " , " SHI SHUAN!! " and the best one! " Ooi! Sarah's crying!! "
hahaahaha ( of course he didnt hear us )
AND IT WAS RAINING LIKE SIAO!!!
shoes were wet wet wet!!!!
aiya gtg alr... talk nxt time ba haha

sigh......

still cant find a nice skin for the blog......

and tomorrow got test test test...

yesterday got cca

all the way till 6.30!!!! (yea girl guides)

reached home at 7 but luckily today sch start at 8.15....

still tired though haha

later tonight then i study for the geog test heh heh heh..... chemistry also hah hah hah.... chinese DUNNID study Mwahahahahaha ( haha )

just found a wonderful japanese song! by nana mizuki.... anyone noes who she is? haha

okok nth much liao.... hahaha will post soon again.... i think. haha

bb!!

yan er

Waaahhh still got people come my blog... So happy! haha

anyway i had this noticeboard comp and ya dun have to guess..... with someone like me, of course win something la haha jk jk jk...

yes we did win but it wasnt third prize! won for the N.E. board so HAHAHAHA!!!!!! and the prize?

a blue pen. yessir a blue PILOT pen. yay!! much better then any pen or pencil given by gsps!!! so happy!!!!!!!!!!

Found out something today. bus 12 doesnt bring me home!!! thank god for Genevieve!!!

y'noe, i took a cyber addiction test on wednesday.

haha im under the mild catergory scored 40 points. nine more and im under moderate hehe. but abit too high for a cyber retard like me rite? haha

ok running out of things to talk soo..... BYE!!!

YanZ

hiiiiii!!!!

Hi!!! yea long time no post.... didn't noe ppl still came to see me blogs hehe...

so how's everyone adjusting to sec life? bit hard for me though hehe.... even went back back to gongshang with genevieve, wai yee, wee tat and hao zheng... but mr poon had to come and fetch us in.

So..... i went to a catholic school and WHAT THE HELL!!!!!

1) no fighting (how common is that type of fighting in gsps?!?)

2) no bad words ( excuse me?!?!?! )

3) report at 7.10 a.m. ( What the?!?! )

4) morning worksheets ( serious overwork!!! )

Anyway..... it ain't too bad there... Jovan Lai's there... Harin's in my class ( today was his first day there ) And so far the work ain't too bad ( so far ).....

And to Jasmine even if she doesn't read this..... hope you're having fun in your new school and dont forget me!

nothing much happened today though.... didn't talk to a single guy in my class other than Harin...

ok then!! BYE!!!