Guides cookies

These days, a particular memory from secondary school keeps resurfacing and good gosh it's making me miserable please stop.

I think it was in sec 3 or 4 that this happened, though I'm not very sure. It could be lower sec 2.

We were collecting orders for the guide cookies and well with my extremely small circle of friends, I didn't really have many people to ask. Not to mention most of them (which was two haha pathetic right) were also girl guides so my list looked really... empty.

I felt way too shy to ask people and when I finally got around to doing that, I found out that most had already gone to my other two friends to order the cookies. It was either that or they couldn't afford it.

I guess I must have looked pretty miserable because Adam and Raihan dug into their pockets to share one box and order from me so that my list would look so sad and damn did I feel like crying at that moment.

To have such awesome friends made me feel so touched and grateful, but at the same time the feelong of being pitied like that felt so horrible. But even so thank you so much guys haha, it made my day anyway. =D

Making friends is really hard. Even now, I'm still questioning what kind of friends do I have in class. The feeling is so dang weird. Like we're friends but at the same time, something about being friends is missing. And it's probably because of something about me since I've had this feeling since always.

Ah I don't know how to say this. Friends but it feels so weird. What am I saying.