Sigh

I did it again. Again.

Hmmm

I'm not sure how to feel now.

You're being self-centred and unreasonable Er. Stop it.

End

The end.

I hope you've at least learnt something from this whole episode, Er.

Mods

I really really really just need to decide leh. Walao.

Sem 1

It's definitely going to be a lonely and difficult semester, I think.

It feels like I've turned from the role of the supported to the support - and I don't know how to do that. It's scary.

Also, people will move on. He will move on to a person better than me. Nothing for me to comment beyond that, I suppose. It's just a weird, sad feeling. At the same time, I'll be a little glad when he does.

Ahhhh. I screwed it all up, right as uni is about to poofle before my very eyes.

Poofle.

Heartbreaks

So much of that heartbrokeness going around these days.

Why is it so difficult?

Salty

Salty, legit low key salty.

I mean, I mentioned so many times but apparently cannot la so I doubt my words carried as much weight as was said to be?

Nah I'm just being damn salty.

But hey, whatever works right? As long as its better then okay la nothing to complain then.

I mean, it's pretty とうぜん so... Aight it's gonna be alright.

And thus the circle shrinks yet once again.

Goodnight world.

Silence

I mean, I think I'll just have to get used to the silence again.

It was a great time while it lasted, I suppose. But it's not a luxury that is for me to have anymore now.

Maybe I should download Mystic Messenger again, HAHA. False company for the next 10 days.

Sigh

I was really looking forward to it but nope.

And its really 仕方ない的东西 you know? So like, what to do?

Ya lor. What to do.

School's starting

School's starting next week, and it feels like it's going to get real lonely when it does.

I don't know what I want anymore.

Endings

I deserve none of the care, consideration, love and affection that I've received.

Tomorrow

I am afraid of what the 'morrow will bring.

Poofs

Haha I wonder if packing up and literally running away from my problems is an option.

It's not. I know.

But damn I wish it were.

Tsk tsk

I can smell resin in my room. Which is probably not a good thing, so I hope I wake up tomorrow haha. I took it out from under my bed but I don't get it, I can still smell it. Is something leaking??? The largest bottle I have is almost empty so it can't be leaking. Where is this smell coming from????

Maybe placing art supplies directly under my bed isn't such a good idea after all.

In other news -

I've messed up so many things recently, what's new right? But it feels like the mess ups are getting worse. Am I even learning from my mistakes???

From the birth giver to the friend, what in the world am I doing la sia.

Also, the resin smell is really getting to me. Can't have leaked that badly right??? Looks like I've got to clean out that drawer ASAP tomorrow.

So the birth giver is majorly upset at me - fine, I understand. The friend is also upset at me - also understand.

Clearly I'm doing a lot of things wrong for so many to be upset at me.

Just slowly accepting that I'm a horrible person but no must learn and become better.

How to become better? Even the gods have given up on me.

Okay no cannot be so salty towards the gods. I help myself first then I go the you okay.

So, how?

Oh my god the resin SMELL I SWEAR I WILL EXPIRE EARLY FROM THESE FUMES.

NO CHOY TOUCH WOOD.

Okay wait so how.

Next time learn to be patient, calm, collected when talking to the birth giver. Inform her of plans. Be patient. Be sure of self. (??)

Then next time, understand self and learn to say no. Aiyo. Honestly is pure self stupidity that led to this so is really all my fault la tsk.

I'm going to have such a shit ton of bad karma in this life.