Not so bad after all!

Today wasn't so bad, had a lot of fun but right now I'm like just really really tired. The worst thing is, I have training tomorrow and project work in the west. Kill me. 

I'm just kidding. About the killing part. 

Anyway, today, I met up with Samantha who agreed to accompany me to Giant to find a pair of cheap track pants for my camp next week since sadly, I have none. Or more like I threw out the pair I used in Secondary 3 foolishly believing that I would never have to use it for overseas trips ever again. I guess that goes to show that women's intuition isn't always right! 

So we took bus 168, which according to my sister would bring us there, but had no idea which stop to alight. Thankfully, Sam decided to double check with iris and we managed to get off the right stop before hitting the TPE. 

A rare moment where iris actually helps. 

Upon alighting however, instead of making a beeline to Giant to get the chore over and done with, we, like typical teenage girls, decided that we were hungry and should stop by IKEA first to get some food and other things while we were at it. After 'ooo-ing' and 'ahh-ing' over some stuffed toys on display in IKEA, we finally settled in the cafe and shared a meal of meatballs and soup, which was surprisingly very filling! 

I would love to post a photo here, but unfortunately, android isn't very user-friendly to me. Hopefully, I can figure out just exactly how to transfer photos to this computer...

Okay, while the device is installing or whatever, let me continue. =) 

Oh okay here! 

Meatballs from IKEA! 

After that, we walked around IKEA to 'digest our food' and I almost completely forgot all about the track pants I had to get. 

Finally at Giant, we found some track pants but holy crap they were so ugly. And more importantly, they made me look SO FAT. Okay not trying to be a bimbo about this, but seriously! It was so ugly and so fat. I couldn't stand them. 

Thank god I found another pair that fitted better on me and didn't make my legs look like walking chicken drumsticks. 

After checking out, I noticed they were having this book sale thing, $5 for a book! Being the cheapos we are, Sam and I began browsing through the whole mess of books and surprisingly, she found one and bought it! Her very first book bought by herself. *So proud of her* =)) 

Back in Tampines, we went to the specs shop near my house ( downstairs actually ) and spent around an hour looking and trying on different frames. In the end, my sister popped by and helped me decide on one, frameless! It was kind of pricey, but oh well! 

Went window shopping with Samantha after that while waiting for the guys to finish swimming so that we could have dinner and after waiting for them for a half hour after the time we were supposed to meet, we settled down for dinner at the food court before parting ways. 

I am so not looking forward to my Batam trip next week. I mean, come on, I don't know anyone there! And four days? Ugh. I am a city girl, not one who embraces the wilderness. Nope, never! 

Before I end, I shall post more photos because I think it's fun to post photos! 

Actually stepped into Crocs -.-

Yes, I cam whore only with friends because I have no self cam techniques. 

Oh and Gen, no need to thank me for the nail addiction ;) I would be too, only I'm way too lazy to be addicted to that! 

Cheers! 
Yan Er 

Deep Sayings

I just wanted to write this down before I forget! 

I was reading Fairy Tail and right on the front page of chapter 334 was Gray Fullbuster ( I think ) with this saying! 

" I don't know what the future brings. that's why I live and laugh in the present " 

It sounded so nice and cool, haha! 

Oh and by the way, Scarlett O Hara is from the book Gone with the wind! That's an 'oops' on my part. 

Okay I shall continue reading my manga now. 

Cheers! 

Yan Er 

Wasn't as bad as expected.

The computer is a great laxative I swear. Anyone with constipation should just sit and relax in front of a computer and whoosh, problem solved! 

Okay that was random and maybe a little too much information, heh. 

In any case, I thought that I would take a mini break from doing my econs ( Q1a haha ) and breathe some life into my usually dead blog! 

Today wasn't so bad a day; the only downside was the horribly long train rides from the east to the west. I honestly cannot understand how the westerners can sit in a bus or a train for hours travelling in the same state and not feel like dying. Well, not literally, of course, but you get what I mean. 

In the end, I was late for my training in Clementi but it wasn't a bad thing. When I reached the courts, I realised that they had just finished doing court sprints ( something that I hate and absolutely suck at ), big sigh of relief! After that, we just spent the next one hour or so training our backhand stroke but for the second half hour, the seniors introduced a new rule to the court; if our ball didn't land beyond the middle line on the court floor, it was 5 push-ups, and if we managed to hit behind the service box, he would do one push-up. 

Obviously, we all ended up doing a whole lot of push-ups, including myself. Yeah, I know that lobbing the ball would save my arms, but it ended up being out, so it was still 5 push-ups, clumsy me. On the plus side, Sherman had to do 40 push-ups in total! It wasn't so bad after all. 

After training, I rushed to Dover to meet my group mates at FC 4 and downed my lunch as quickly as I could before our long trek to the main library in the hot sun. Thank goodness I was already sweaty from the training earlier! 

As soon as we settled down, I trudged back to Moberly to take a quick shower before heading back to do our project on, yes, Crocs.  

It is still beyond me why such hideous ( personal opinion here, no bashing please ) clogs cost a minimum of $39.90. Then again, what do I know about consumer wants and fashion? 

Although it is generally agreed that any teenager sporting the classic Crocs clogs would be judged the instant light reflects the image of the shoes into our eyes. Don't tell me otherwise, we all know that's true. Most of the time. 

In any case, their company website was pretty informative, which made life a whole lot easier, so thumbs up for that! Good thing they're well-established, again for reasons beyond my understanding seeing that I'm so biased.

Oh before I end, let me write down/share what I read from my dear friend Genevieve's wordpress because the sayings are so nice and I'm afraid to forget them! 

" To be alone does not mean being lonely, and to be lonely does not mean being alone.  "

And 

"Tomorrow is another day."

I would do the Harvard style citation that my school insists we use, but I have no idea how. According to her, the first one's from a book I know not what, and the second is from the "Scarlet Letter" if I'm not wrong, since it's Scarlett O Hara saying it. 

Okay, deep sayings saved for another time. It's back to work for me! 

Cheers! 
Yan Er 

My best guy friend is the best for a reason.

Okay on that last post I kinda said that my best guy friend wasn't being 'caring' and all that? I take it back. 

Here's what happened. On Wednesday last week, I was supposed to meet up with Shu Ang to study Accounting together at BK but I was out of money, so off I went to the ATM. 

BUT. The bloody ATM ate my card so off I went to the bank for a new one. I was praying that the bank wouldn't be crowded (and it wasn't, I'm just picky) but there was a full queue oh my god. I thought to myself, " Hey no biggie, queue could be worse than this." Desperate to get my card since my wallet was completely void anything related to money, I just decided to queue and informed Shu Ang that I would be late. 

Probably five minutes after I started queuing, my body decided to remind me that I was still sick. Of all times. -.- The AC suddenly felt unbearable and my head was beginning to feel lightheaded and I knew trouble was coming. In reality, all I thought was "Shit are you kidding me! Not again oh god." 

Not caring about the judgmental people in the bank, I just slouched and bent over like a hunchback while leaning on the wall, thank heaven for the wall. Man I was feeling horrible. After a long while, I decided to inform Shu Ang that nope no way I'm going to study out, I have to go home and rest real quick! I quickly called him with the hopes that he would be able to, oh I don't know, help a little since he was the closest person I knew in Tampines and available. 

The response? " K bye. " And that was before I could try explaining anything. Maybe the frustration gave me strength to think a bit about what to do next, I can't say for sure haha. But in any case, I prayed that my best guy friend was awake and at home in Pasir Ris and sent him a message informing him I was unwell and at the bank so " if anything happens, that's where I am " 

Not long after, I was served and got out of that place with the same lightheaded feeling. Unsure if it had to do with sugar levels or something, I decided to just drag myself to Macs and get a drink. Obviously I wasn't thinking straight, because instead of a drink screaming HIGH IN SUGAR like Coke, I got Milo. Way to go, haha! 

Then, I got a message from Adam telling me to stay where you are and gosh imagine my surprise! I was like thinking, that dude is going to drag himself all the way here? 

And drag himself he did. One of my best friends on earth heard I wasn't feeling too good at the bank and came over to help me if needed and check if I was fine. Nothing can describe how touched I was! 

Thankfully, I was feeling better after getting out of that place and drinking some milo so I suggested lunch and we settled down for PastaMania before walking around a bit and then heading back home. 

But this isn't the end of it. 

Just the other night, he called to 'check up' on me, ask if the fever's still there and all that, any rash. I got suspicious and a little worried since it's the first time he's ever done that (don't scare me dude!) but he called just for that and it really made my day. =) 

So to the best guy friend ever whose belated birthday card is still non-existent, thanks for everything during my whole two weeks plus of being sick! When I say that ' you're the best ', I really mean it! =D 

Okay shall continue about today another day, maybe tomorrow? =P 

Cheers! 
Yan Er   

Back Again

School started not long ago, and yeah I decided to go to Singapore Polytechnic instead of a Junior College. And the same course as my sister too! I just hope I enjoy Business Admin. 

I just felt like ranting a little today, feeling the same-old same-old unhappiness. Yeah ranting while watching Ye Shi Ren Shen and the bad guy's feeling depressed and wants to jump off and the equally bad son running to get her and... strangely the background music sounds joyful. 
Okay let them have their flashbacks so I can continue .. 

So. I fell sick over the weekend after my sister did and well the only people who cared were like my FOM groupmates who told me to get well soon and all that since I couldn't work on the projects and my sis who was sick at the same time.. oh and Voon Kit too who came over to visit me today... ^^ 

Ahem anyway. What exactly was it I wanted to say ...

Ohhhhhhh okay I think I remember. I expressed my worry about the strange .. ohmygod they both want to jump off the building!! 

Jumpjumpjumpjumpjumpjumpjump...

Okay that's mean of me. But they're bad people! Just hurry up and jump or something oh god they have been trying for what, 10 minutes?! 

Ahh anyway as I was saying. I expressed .. 

MYGOD THEY DIDN'T JUMP AND DIE!

Right I'm so touched that the bad guys have feelings -.- 

Now back to what I've been trying to say! 

Yesterday I found this weird lump on the right side of my neck and it felt weird since the left side of my neck didn't have it. Today, it seemed to have gotten a bit weirder or something and on the top of that, high fever =/ 

I felt like .. sharing my worries with one of my best guy friends about this since well I see him all the time now but well... okay he did respond to me.. for a bit. Then it was like he ignored it until he felt like saying something. Every single time. When I mentioned being ill for the day he just ignored it as well and went on about his woes and troubles for not doing his work earlier. 

I mean, I shouldn't be upset over something like this.  Something like this screams insecurity and all that crap. But I realised just how.. I don't know, weird it felt being in a class with no one else that I can truly connect and be myself. 

A fake mask put on for school everyday because in poly, you just have to be social. Not saying that I don't like that mask entirely.. after all, it is the person that I've always wanted to be. But honestly I just realised how it totally wasn't like me at all. 

I am the quiet girl that doesn't speak much. Not the loud and crazy girl. 

And it just makes me feel more... I don't know, unwanted? It just feels like no one cares anymore and I feel alone again. 

Even after all this time, I'm still sitting by the phone thinking, "Are they going to bother replying me or are they ignoring me?" 

It's like being desperate for a little attention and I really hate it. 

Okay gotta go bathe and all! It's late already! And there's school tomorrow >< 

Cheers! 

2013

Sup'! 
LOL okay. 
So the topic of blogs kinda came up between me and my friends last night, and I thought 'why not continue my once a year blog tradition!'
HAHA. RIGHT. God that's lame >< 
Anyway as usual I got annoyed at the blogskin for being so irritatingly hard to use so I CHANGED IT HAHAHA. 
* joy * ~
.....
Well whateverrrr~ It has pink in it so.. I'm happy! ( There's pink ... right?? ) 
Ooo okay so I started working at the Underwater world in January under Pictureworks and man the customers are like hilarious. 
So yeah I'm the annoying kid at the corner bugging you to take photos and buy them at a ridiculously expensive price of $20. Oh the sad life =/ 
Anyway back to the hilarious customers. There is just one that I absolutely have to talk about because I really didn't know what to reply her! 
I was at the Dolphin Lagoon telling them to move to the other side for the interaction session ( Its just a fancy way of saying phototaking with dolphin/fur seals so that I can tell them I give free photo when they actually paid for it HAHA ) since it was raining and this lady, no idea from where, was like 'What time will the rain stop?' 
I was seriously shocked by that! Like even though I still had the customer-is-here-so-smile face, or I think I did, all I was thinking was Are you serious, Like am I god, Do I look like Sally the Rainmaker, Am I a weather forecaster, Are you joking , How the hell would I know 
So. I was at a loss for words. 
How, in the holy mother of god, WOULD I KNOW! 
Anyway Zhi Yu happened to be with me and he was like 'Oh very soon!' and I just looked at him with a single thought running through my mind, " Oh suuuure.. "
Yeesh I will never ask people such questions when I'm overseas ever. Not that I actually do! 
Hm okay I wanna go bathe now, and watch videos of people cooking~ ( Oh the torture ) and... hm what was it I wanted to do .... 
Um....
OH yeah buy stuff! 
But I think there was.. 
oh! Play sims HEH HEH HEH. 

Peace out yo! Cheers! 

Today!

Long time no blog here now HAHA.
So. What was I going to say? Hmm.. 
UGH my feet hurts T.T Cold weather + walk around SO MUCH = Feet pain =/ 
But what was it I wanted to say ? ><" 
Think think think think think ... 
Okay so here's one ... Like, I realised quite recently, I've been quite quick tempered and all that and MAN I didn't know that my friends found it a tad bit scary! Like, I blow up at .. small matters? >< I don't know why =/ But yeah! 
First the kinda 'self-pitying' people who think they have no friends for goodness sake WHEN THEY ACTUALLY DO OH GOD. 
See what I mean?!?! 
Okay deep breath girl. 
On one hand, it kind of reminds me of myself pitying myself a while ago. Like oh I have no picture perfect family, oh no one cares about me ETC ETC. 
Which honestly really just makes me feel downright SICK thinking about how pathetic I was then. 
Like, suck it up and move on girl! was totally what I should have done instead of playing the 'helpless Hannah' role type of thing.
Wait what was I talking about .. 
OHH okay. So it totally reminded me of ME and I was thinking 'oh man they are SO going to regret this pathetic moment of life so they should TOTALLY hurry and MOVE ON or something and BE HAPPY again!' 
Uh .. drawback to this plan is, I totally cannot be compassionate or sound caring at all!! 
It's kinda hard to when you're annoyed that everyday they're emoing and not really doing much to help themselves. I mean yeah it's hard, life ain't a WALK IN THE PARK YEAH I KNOW but come on! At least try to distract yourself or something! I don't know! 
I mean, no offence intended anywhere here! It's just my patience is extremely little and I'm trying to help too but eh I have my own problems and sometimes I'm just too wrapped up in mine to help with yours! 
Anddd another really selfish reason, no denying there is that sometimes, I'm just enjoying myself, like feeling problem-free and all that and .. your problem comes to haunt me like my own.. 
GOD I'M EMBARRASSED TO SAY THAT. 
Yeah I am such a good friend =/ 
I'll just admit it, I'm not a very good friend! =/
T.T Feet pain sniff. LOL. 
Okay I wanted to talk about how me and Vk walked from outram park to chinatown but I ended up complaining again. BIIGG surprise ><"
Another time then! 
Cheers! \(^-^)/

At the mall~

So, today I was walking around the mall, looking at the stalls from the hokkaido fair when I realised it. THERE WAS WIND IN THE MALL o.o 

Okay, kind of slow but hey! I'm just that slow person =P 

Anyway I was wondering, why is my fringe blowing away from my face? And ever so slowly my brain processed it as wind. Well it took me a few moments to understand that being in a mall, wind of that sort is non- existent.  

I'm not talking about those 'small-scale'/light breezes, I'm talking about those blowing wind that doesn't die down, with cool air!!!  That is definitely and positively rare in this damn hot country. Man! 

Well, not saying it was not welcomed, no no, it was the best wind ever! 

Just that it took me too long to realise it >< 

Okay, got my Chinese O level oral tomorrow, shall continue practicing my mother tongue! =/

All the best to me! 

Cheers and rock on~

\(^-^)/

Yan Er

Chinese!!

Well this is it.
First O level ; Chinese!!
Man I'm damn nervous! Yesterday all I did was play LoL with my jie and.. Well.. Read through some phrases for Chinese and that's it. Slack much?
Just gotta keep telling myself I can do it! I went for all but one of the Chinese intensive classes so I'm sure I improved a little. I hope. ><
Oh man this is nerve wreaking !!!
Took fluff out yesterday and for the first time let her run a little without the leash :P
Oh well gotta run!! Wish me luck :P

Oh well.

Just finished stalking again. And while you might think its really creepy or whatever, well let's just say its on the internet. Its the most public place ever. Besides, I wouldn't have known about how so many of my friends ' mask ' themselves.
Okay so that's common sense. I mean, even I do it sometimes. But all the time? That's just sad. Or maybe I'm the sad one, keeping home problems separate from my school life so I wouldn't have to fake a mask, wouldn't have to feel miserable and still 'smile for the world!' hm I don't know. It works, kinda. I mean, why force yourself to be so miserable just to please the people around you, people who aren't going to be in your life for long? Please. Don't we all live
For ourselves? Isn't that the way it should be?
' on the verge of breaking down in school. ' I guess things must have been quite bad and yeah I shouldn't judge. Oh well.
Okay so I realize there isn't any point to these cynical ish comments. Hm. Oh I was wondering. I wonder how does it feel like to be on the verge of breaking down? Wouldn't it be better to just let it all out , or is it just a much much worse case of that? Hm
Recently, after hearing more and more about the family crap, I had this ' need to tell someone! ' feeling and it was SO bad. But oh, there wasn't anyone who could understand. And after all that with *him I realized I sort of lost the ability to confide things like that to people. Huh. Thanks for screwing my life up.
Anyway. The feeling, the frustration just kept building up and dear god up till now I still haven't released the build up yet. Probably doesn't sound serious here. Hm. Not sure how this sounds but I'm dealing with it myself, sucking it up and moving on.
Or maybe, I just pushed it one side and am living in denial again, waiting for it to slap me in the face first chance reality gets.
At this complete loss of what to do. I'm starting to appreciate what I have now little by little. Sigh only time will tell, eh?

Life right now

Supposed to be studying now but failing badly. Looks like I'm going to disappoint everyone who believed in me.
It's so tiring these days. Sometimes no matter what, I just feel so alone in this world. Yeah, the feeling has lessened but it feels like I'm just living to be living. Keeping every single thing inside . Sometimes it's so difficult to say what I want to but oh well, suck it up and move on.
Cried my heart out to my mom yesterday when I saw her. Yeah the heat made me frustrated but more than anything I just wanted my mom again. Is it too much to ask for? Well apparently it is. " you're 16, it's time you looked after yourself. Etc etc" already it annoys me at times that I have to grow up faster than what I'd like to ( selfish yes ) but I can't help missing the mom I used to have.
Guess I should be grateful for what I have. Even so.. Sigh. I tell people I'm tired but in actual fact, I don't know why.
Life's getting hard. I'm getting beat by one classmate by another. Looks like its time to leave feeling 'tired' for another time and buck up again.

Tiredd

Superrr tired now! 
Today was like a waste of time =/ Got selected for some PISA thingy and practically skipped school for it -.-
AND MY PE!!!! =((
KK I just came here to extra hahaha! 
Hopefully Friday can watch hunger games!! =D 

Cheers and rock on ~