Having issues

Always got problems one so what to do? It's like karma coming to bite me in the ass sometimes.

First thing is like.

Eh. Why my guild wars cannot load. No oooo I want to play leh can load anot pleaase. Sigh anyway.

First thing is like you know that realisation that you're so freaking average in life. Like oh everyone has something they can do well in. Some people can game well, some people can sports well (you get what I mean la) some people can art well, cook well, music well, smart well, all the damn talents everywhere.

Then you take a look at yourself.

Wah this guild wars testing my patience. Shall restart comp. Orr. Heh. Orr. Or I could play Sims. Hmm. Okay. Let's load Sims.

Yeah back to looking at myself. Can't game. Enjoy game but honestly suck at it and don't know what I'm doing half the time it's embarrassing. Can't sports well. Just look at... My WiFi signal... Is having issues...  Ugh.

No no that's not what I want you to look at. Although just look at it! Not working.

Anyway. Yeah just look at my cca. Worst player, slowest runner, weakest player, slowest reaction, least improved. It's embarrassing. I love playing it but let's face it, I'm not good enough. Ever.

Then we have art. Yeah people say I can art well. Drawing I guess. But out there, it's mediocre at best. On an average, I guess it's better than nothing.

Music? Sure I can play. But talent? Nope nothing there. Play by ear? Sorry only one hand which is... Pathetic cos what's the point. Express feelings and crap? My music is monotonous. Like my life actually haha.

Yeah and people say I smart well. But social media tells you good grades doesn't mean you're smart, means you're obedient, slave to school system, memory machine. Means you're dumb but happens the system that tests if you're smart or not fits you. Yeah I know, not creative or street smart or anything.

Okay yeah y'all probably thinking, this girl putting herself down on purpose, you have good grades and you complaining? What's your issue?! You can draw and you can play the piano? I can't even do that etc etc.  (I know cos that's exactly what I would think)

Oh my God it's really not connecting I really want my guild wars!

Then why am I doing this? I just feel so inadequate, so average. Like, I'm not good at anything.  Yeah Yeah practice more, try harder etc etc. Maybe I'm really just not trying hard enough.

Wah type so long already but I actually still have something else to talk about. Let's split this into 2.