Long pants

I wore jeans to school today since the attire was 'smart casual' and as always, I swore I'd never wear it to school if I could help it.

So damn warm!!

Like, it wasn't that bad but it wasn't that good either. Conclusion: shorts for the Win.

Obviously the first thing I did when I reached home was to strip off the jeans and trade it for my shorts. Oh the relief man.

That was when I felt it. No, not the relief, I was and still am feeling that.

The cool, gentle breeze in the house.

I threw open my room window and stood in the middle of the house. Oh man that felt so cooling. Its been such a long time since I last felt this kind of awesome wind, especially in the house.

Oh oh there it is again! Ahhh god bless the wind even though I'm not religious.

Anyway, I decided that long pants make me appreciate such wind more. Because when wearing long pants, you don't feel shit at all.

Okay I shall check in on my instant noodles.

CHEERS!

Really? Tch.

Inline skating would have been a nice way to end the day. It was so fun playing ice and water!

Not to mention the collision between Adeline, Val and some other guy. MAN that was hilarious!

Obviously, days don't always end so nicely and seems like today's going to be one of those days. First was some random (not to mention kind of lame) message sent out by my friend to a group chat using my phone. Normally I don't care that much if the message is just plain retarded, but really now, a confession?

I'm not saying I don't take other phones to message dumb shit. Rarely, but duh of course I've done that before. But not things like that, that's just kinda weird.

Kind of neutral-annoyed at that but whatever, I guess it doesn't matter.

And then oh god. One that i promised not to tell anyone but I think expressing opinions should be fine. Judge me for all I care. And if you think I'm talking about you, then no, really, I'm not.

Seriously? What the hell are you trying to prove here?

And sadly(for me), that is all I can and will say on that. The internet is public.

I am disturbed that his ... opinion of me will become something like "that girl's seriously a bitch" but what the hell. It'll be mutual. And since I'm not going to pretend I don't hold grudges because that's a lousy lie, I'll just be quietly pissed until it burns out.

Okay back to stats to get annoyed even more.

Problems

Sometimes I just scroll through all the social media stuff and see people posting things concerning their problems, especially all the love life and stuff and for some insanely weird reason, this line will run through my mind.

"Why can't I have normal problems like that?"

Then three seconds later, I mentally face palm. Why the hell would I want problems like that??! What, the hell.

It looks like I have to remind myself how incredibly annoying and painful it is to fret over crushes and friendship and etc. For every one small moment of joy comes a ton of pain and unhappiness. Its a package deal.
Maybe its just me, I don't know.

But you know, life's really boring. I mean, sure, I have my problems. Dark ones, apparently. As mentioned by Mark or something. But still, its boring.

You know those times where you hear the message tone been before eagerly texting back a reply to your friend? Just a plain ol' simple conversation the whole day talking nothing but bullcrap to entertain. Yeah, I kind of miss them.

That really stupid smile you get when you read the message because your friend just texted you something lame and she knows you're going to smile at the phone like an idiot because she's already informed you that that's what you'll do. Did that make sense?

School's filled with fun, laughter and giggles. Even though I don't think we're that close at all, they're still pretty awesome.

And then I step into this apartment called home. Retire into my room.

It's like a whole different world. The comfort that should be there is just... different. Weird, maybe.

Oh dear, looks like I'm on a whole rant again.

I know this feeling. And I'm not liking it.

But what to do, can only suck it up and move on. 

I'd pray to god but I'm not religious. So maybe my dreams will be kind to me, let me dream of all the good things at night at least.

Goodnight!

Yeah, that's it

Been feeling kind of ... neutral recently. Which is weird. And it's like I haven't been doing anything right too.

House's a mess which i would love to clean but ... lets wait till the holidays.

Well... I guess that's it. Nothing much to do or look forward to.

Okay I'm just bored. On the train. Rushing to work. But I think I'll make it on time. Yay

EXPO

A pretty normal day filled with fun and laughter, as usual! 

Strangely, it should have been the most long and tiring day of the week (though I think Friday will probably win now) since we had essentially no breaks today. Our lunch break got eaten up by our accounting cher since she needed to do some makeup lesson from 12 to 4. 

4 hours! 

I came to school specially prepared for that. Yesterday, I went to Cold Storage to buy that awesome chocolate covered jelly sweet thingy which was kinda pricey but still, awesome. So during class, me and Eva just sat there snacking and doing work. 

Which for once I managed to understand BOOYEAH. 

I got my accounting right man ~ 

After school, we stayed back to do stats and thank god we did. If I read those ten questions at home, I probably wouldn't have understood crap from it and given up. Seriously. How in the great blue world am I supposed to know what formula to use? It is so damn confusing. 

We all felt like dying after reaching the fifth question. But thankfully the other five were a lot shorter. THANK GOODNESS. I would have died doing stats if there were more questions to do. I was kinda close to throwing a tantrum at all that dumb questions but well, I controlled. Not bad, huh? 

Anyway, we decided to just quickly rush home but on the way, Ryan suggested going to the EXPO to look at some shoes and I went along with him and Adam since well, going home alone isn't fun. 

I was feeling pretty tired by the time we reached there but watching them was really fun. Since I still have to practice my DBE, I'll cut the long story short. They hunted through piles of shoes (Vans, if I may add) before finally finding a decent pair for Adam. 

Then came the more exciting product; food. 

I swear the look on Ryan and Adam's face when they first started looking at the snacks. Even though I was getting really tired, I swear man it was so damn funny that it totally made my night.

You know that look on kids when they get super excited and happy or something? 

Yup.  

Watching two teenagers standing there laughing and giggling over food was really really funny. I didn't have to get anything to feel happy and all that; watching them was seriously good enough. What can I say? I like watching people. 

The prices weren't that bad either, so they both ended up with a bag a goodies worth around $10. 

Lastly before I really concentrate on my DBE because I'm getting so sleepy, I met Sherman on the way home, at the MRT there. Squash senior Sherman, not secondary school Sherman. I walked with him to the traffic light near S11, joking and kidding around before saying bye. A good way to end the day out too I guess. 

Alright, back to work now. Sadly. 

@$&*@¢£

Seriously pissed and frustrated.

I was prepared have lunch and dinner with my mom today and tomorrow but its all screwed up now. Mentally cursing now seriously.

First, tuition today cancelled because of some, I don't know, LAST MINUTE update that there's some noisy renovation or what work at the center. Too noisy to conduct class.

Can we postpone to tomorrow afternoon.

Excuse me. Its a damn Sunday. Sunday. Sunday. I treasure my Sundays okay. Its family day. No one should have to work on that day.

Plus, I was planning to eat lunch with my mom. Now.its all just ruined. I was really looking forward to eating with her.

Its so damn disappointing and frustrating. I just want to eat a meal with my mom. Can't you just let me have it?
Yeah yeah I can hear it now. It's working life, DEAL WITH IT.

Hell no. It's my family time. Why should I have to suck it up for work.

Appreciation

A thought crossed my mind as I was folding the clothes piled on my bed. 

I have to clean the toilet today.

I'm actually okay with doing the household chores. Things like sweeping, mopping, washing and stuff. Even cleaning the rabbit bedding's okay. 

But! The toilet!

It's just so ughhh. 

It sounds kind of horrible but it's times like this I really appreciate all the cleaning my Mom had to do over the years by herself. She cleaned the toilet every single day oh god. I wouldn't be able to stand it. 

So. Before I confront my arch nemesis, I just wanted to say THANKS MOM for making the house so clean when you were staying here. It's a little late I guess but better late then never~!

Appreciate the little things she does. Like cleaning the toilet. 

Of course I love and thank her for other stuff, she's not my maid. But today's topic is the toilet. So ... Yeah. 

Okay, bye! 

Dinner

Since I have time while waiting for the heater to warm up the water, I shall entertain myself by typing down my thoughts of today. 

Which did not start out that well. Woke up at 7.38am because the sun started shining on my head which gave me this massive headache and pissed me so badly but I decided to try and ignore it and go back to sleep; which kind of worked but my Whatsapp started beeping and I just yanked it out of the plug to read the message before proceeding to 'scold' Valerie for waking up so early and telling her to "go back to sleep". 

I thought I'd just wait for the alarm in my phone to ring before I really get up but it wasn't exactly a good choice because hearing that irritating alarm is just... moodkill. But I got up anyway! 

Took my time getting to school to meet my DBE group for some project stuff which was kinda fun I guess, even though I was internally cursing for most of it for existing. At least we got it out of the way by lunchtime! 

Which reminds me. Of something mildly embarrassing. 

Seriously, does my head really nod left and right when I sleep on the train?? I actually thought I was doing quite well on the way home today. I hugged my bag and just rested my head on it because well, in theory (or something), you won't lean left or right when you're hugging something on your lap right.

Apparently not ... 

Ugh. Both Ryan and Bryan said that I still leaned on well yeah when sleeping. But! I was half conscious, pretty sure of that! So how could I not know! I thought I was doing well in sleeping properly. 

Guess not.

Anyway, met up with Val, Adam and the two of them for dinner at Bedok after that. Felt completely lost there, like it was probably the first time I tapped out at Tanah Merah MRT station. 

Dinner was super fun! We just kept talking and sharing stuff, mostly about well crushes and all that and ... wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be when it came to my turn to share. Even so, their response was about the same as what the guys in secondary school have been saying about me; heartless. 

I am no longer surprised by it. In fact, I would call myself that too! The more I talked about it, the more I realised just how mean I was to them. In my defense, it was my way of nipping it in the bud. Oh well. 

Halfway while sharing mine, they passed a comment about me being competitive in studies which .. I admit, is true. Sometimes, it sounds like a bad thing because getting good grades but not up to my standard makes me sound like an arrogant(?) and annoying person. So it kinda got me thinking where did that competitiveness stem from? 

Hm. I wonder. 

I guess you could say the moment I started getting good grades in secondary 1, it felt good and after that it kind of became something people expected from me. It was horrible just imagining the disappointment of the people at home who were already beginning to brand me as the smart one and expecting like top in class results kind of thing. Honestly in upper sec, I studied like mad mainly because I was afraid to disappoint my mom, even though not once did she push me to score well. 

And ugh, the pathetic part. All that inferiority issues which I honestly really just ugh. I mean, those girls had like everything. Well not really, but it seemed like it! Looks, friends(yes I have few), athletic ability and stuff, seemed like grades was my the only thing I could feel sure of myself, the only bit of pride? I don't know. 

Well, that's that. Yeah the last part sounds a bit sob story. Ugh. But hey, skip it if it's too disgusting. 

Okay overall, awesome day. It's really one of those days that I can really think back and remember, It was a really great day! 

Goodnight, or morning if you want to be so time conscious!

Cheers!