Uhm

I'm .... I'm a bit worried.

What am I doing?

I wanted to talk to my friend about this like, two? weeks ago. Because I don't think I'm doing this right.

But just nice that day some stuff came up and we couldn't meet. And after all, school hell continued plus exams are right around the corner so there's no way I can bring this up anymore.

Still...

I... Don't think I'm doing this right. And honestly, come to think of it, I should stop. Why didn't I? SX was like, "Well there's only one reason for continuing talking to him right?"

Is it really? I didn't think so leh. Or am I just being oblivious? No leh. I know myself well enough to know if I'm trying to fake myself or not. Right?

So many questions, haha.

Perhaps it was thoughtless of me. To continue the way I did, or am, actually.

But .... Okay. If I wasn't, I would've shunned avoided blocked etc etc? Well. I suppose to a certain extent that's true. But it's not like, I mean, これは友達だよ！それに、いい友達よ！こんなのことはとてもnot worth it だよ！

So many 'but's.

Is it selfish of me? I think I was being really selfish. What kind of impression have I given? What kind of hopes? What have I been doing? 做人不可以这样的彦娥，是不可以的!

これからどうする？そのままにする？このままじゃ it'll be too late...

Why like that. 为何啊。