ITB -- It's a long long long post.

ITB project is over and I'm still going to bitch about it. It's a sign. ITB SUCKS. 

Plain, and simple. 

It has definitely brought me alot of first time thingies. But I'll leave that for later. Starting with the bitch part before I actually forget, haha! 

I cannot believe that ITB screwed up my body clock. Or mindset. Whatever. I was actually studying my Accounting up till about midnight ( and while that might actually be normal for some people, it's NOT for me ) and totally not noticing the time because it felt as if ... well, it felt normal. As if it were only 10 plus and not midnight. That's what I get for staying in school till 11 plus doing project for the past few days. THANKS ITB. THANKS ALOT. No wonder I felt as if I shouldn't be doing my Accounting anymore. I mean, besides the fact that I was getting alot of my questions wrong. 

Okay nevermind, it's solely ITB fault. Me getting wrong answers has absolutely nothing to do with that weird feeling. Yes. 

So obviously I've stopped revising. I mean, midnight is not the time people do work. Hello? It's time to slack and relax. 

Unless your project is due in the next few days... 

UGH ITB just ruined me. 

Anyway. Back to the first time thingies! 

It was definitely the first time I stayed so late in school to do homework, or project work specifically. 11plus! Wow. I'm amazed at myself. 

Also, it was definitely the first time I reached home past midnight from school. I blame the distance. And fine, myself for leaving the project till the last minute. 

Speaking of that lousy project, it was the first and hopefully only time I will have to rush a project till the (literally) last moment. Hopefully. 

Not forgetting a super embarrassing moment in school one of the nights we stayed to do that database crap. Not sure if I mentioned it before, but I had to use the toilet and went with Eva and Valerie to this (bad bad bad choice) one closest to the bridge at spectrum. It was so goddamn dark and I'll be honest. I'm a major scaredy-cat. (Or how you spell it). And people like Ryan knows that damn him. Scaring me through text. 

But anyway that's completely out of point. 

What happened was that I got freaked when I saw how dark the area near the toilet was and grabbed on to Eva and Val and suggested getting someone, preferably a guy due to the stereotype that they scare less easy, before coming back. Eva was like " Okay, okay, torchlight! " 
AND SHE JUST WENT TO USE HER PHONE TORCHLIGHT TO LIGHT UP THE DOORS DO YOU KNOW HOW SCARY THAT IS OH MY GOD. 

So. We crept towards the door and when we were in front of it, the door freaking opened to show a pitch black inside. 

I can't be sure who was it, but I'm pretty sure it was me. A high pitched shriek sounding exactly like "AHHHHHHHH" and me and Eva just dashed away laughing like crazy. It was so ridiculous! From my angle, it seemed like the door just creaked open by itself but it was really just Val using her foot to push open the door since she too was scared. 

The most embarrassing part was that the people at Spectrum actually heard it loud and clear. Oh gosh. No more face already. 

So yes, first time I .. screamed. In school. Over a toilet. 

Hm other first times.. OH YES. This one must have looked really amusing on the train. It was Thursday night and we were on the last train back so along with Bryan, Adam and Ryan, we flipped open our Laptops and continued with our projects. Like wow. 

I want to sleep so I shall end here. But really, I am still amazed how we managed to hand up everything needed for ITB. In fact, it is so praise worthy. So much so that I think I should praise myself for managing to get the project at least handed up. Although if I actually started earlier this wouldn't have happened and all these amazing times in school would not have been possible. So, see? It turned out fine after all. Ergo, it is still praise worthy. 

Good job to myself! 

And definitely to my group mates and everyone else in class. 

I can't believe I just praised myself. This is all Bryan's fault. Being so thick skinned and all that. 

I'm joking. But really. It's his influence. So it's his fault. 

Yup. 

Cheers! 

Every end is a new beginning

The title isn't to suggest that I'm going to be deep in my posts and stuff. It's because it's true HAHA. I'm just waiting for Bryan to finish teaching people PACC. Won't take long he says. Right. 

It's so sad. 

ITB project finally ended today. This is by far the most rushed and chionged project ever. We only started seriously doing this project on Monday after that bloody FoM test. 

The start of late night project chiongs this week. 

On Tuesday, Wednesday and Thurday, I spent the whole day in school with my group mates rushing out the stupid database and for those three nights I stayed in school until all we had was the last train to take. Amazing. 

Last night was even worse. After reaching home at around 1230 to 1 in the morning, we continued staying up all the way to 630am typing the reports and all that. Slept until around 10 then it was off to school to continue rushing out the remaining parts of the project. 

It was so  frustrating but really, it was our fault for not starting on this project earlier. In fact, I'm amazed that we actually managed to hand up everything on time today! 

Anyway, that's the end of ITB. The new beginning? This is where chionging for PACC enters. This is ridiculous. 

And only after the end of PACC exam on Monday will chiong studying for Econs make its entrance. 

One after another. 

Every end brings a new beginning. 

Sadly. 

I'm Posting this because Ryan said so

The title sounds pathetic but whatever. 

I created you 
like I did with many others
to aid me in my life
with fair trades in mind

I created more of you
and a system to go along
everyone loved you 
and the wonders you brought

I continued creating
myself not knowing 
that a new feeling 
was slowly molding

I didn't slow my creation
sped it up in fact 
still oblivious
that my tainted love was growing

I controlled my creating 
so your value would grow
driven by the new feeling 
only I didn't know

I created and controlled
 for I wanted your value to grow 
denying that what drove me
was greed, not so new anymore

I created you 
your parent, if you may 
but I didn't see 
what you slowly turned me to be 

I created you
made you indispensable 
but continued pretending 
that I was the one creating 

As you crinkle in my fists
and jingle in my pocket
the facade slowly slides
and I come to realise 
that somehow it was you
who ended up creating me. 


If no one gets what this is refering to, I don't blame you because it's by me so it's not good haha. 

Anyway. Happy figuring out the inside meaning. 

......

FoM is totally screwed. 

There were so many questions that I couldn't answer! It was so depressing. Like really. Sigh. 

Oh on the way back home, Adam and Ryan were telling me about some pancakes competition or whatnot and apparently they had this big idea to shape their pancakes into .... let's say, private areas of the male and the female then overlapping it (ahem ahem you know) and I kind of asked the stupidest question ever.... 

So. I went "But how does the (insert female part) look?" Or something like that. 

And I got ... a very appropriate answer! From Adam, no less.

"Uh.. Why don't you just look down there?" 

Hm. I mean, he does have a point. But what mean't was.. isn't it.. I mean, they have a definite shape? Like wow. Really. 

So yeah! It was hilarious. Especially talking about it on the train out loud. 

Next! 

ITB is so screwed. 

WHY ISN'T MY QUERY WORKING. 

@$##$^(#&#*@&)!@*&#$! 

IT WAS WORKING FINE THE LAST TIME WHAT THE HELL. 

I hate ITB. Introduced into life to make life miserable. 

And it's due on Friday! 

Kill me man. 

Okay don't. I'm saying this figuratively. Not literally. If there's going to be any killing here, it's the murdering of ITB. 

Wanting to shoot it is an understatement. URGH It is really so annoying. And I'll probably still do badly for it, which would make me want to murder it even more. 

ITB. 

You suck. 

And I hate you. A lot. 

Cheers! 

Study Week

Study week hasn't even started and I'm bitching about it. Why not? It is so bitch-worthy. 

It is so ironic. On the first day of study week, we have a test. A freaking test. Because the word 'study' totally means 'test'. 

But that's not the end of the irony. Whether or not it is an irony, I'm calling it an irony. So there. On Wednesday and Friday, it's presentations galore. 

Well that might be a bit of an exaggeration but seriously. Testing me on my speaking skills during STUDY  week? Man, these people really have to check what study really means. Unless I'm actually wrong, then that'll be embarrassing. But I don't think so. 

The next bit is kind of ( actually it is but I'm comforting myself here ) my fault but I have yet to even complete half  of my ITB project which is due on Friday, complete with the written report and ppt slides. Which has to have a video to entertain, a music clip to bore people to sleep, wonderful awe-inspiring ( they don't actually have to be ) pictures, wonderful and not irritating at all animations. 

Animations. Animations! 

I hate those. Mine never look nice. Of course that's not the reason why I hate them. It's just a coincidence. Yes, it is. Don't judge. 

I find them bloody troublesome. ARRGH. And all that hyperlink crap to add in. 

To sum up, I am so screwed!  

Here's to a week of hell,
Cheers! 

Life talks

Met Gen yesterday and had our usual life talks about how we wish the world's different from how it is now. 

It somehow got me thinking the usual stuff about the choices I've made in life. Mainly about the choices I've made regarding my education.
And.. ended up with something like this.  

I had a dream 
a big dream
at an age so young
to decorate the world 
with art pieces of mine 

Teachers encouraged
Society disparaged
Too big a dream it was 
Too far to reach it became 

I had a dream
a little less grand 
to design living spaces
a comfortable atmosphere for all

Parents approved
Society refused
Impossible, they said
for a place so buried in books and knowledge

I had a dream
faded and frosted
to mold, to create
a fusion of cloth and personality

Friends cheered on
Society looked beyond
Without even a single glance
at my plans at all 

I have a dream
desperately glowing 
as the society continues blowing
to grasp what used to be
such wonderful dreams of mine. 

Failed attempt at being deep HAHA. Don't laugh. I'll feel sad. 
But oh well. 
And yes Ryan, this was what I was typing haha. Like I said, don't laugh. =) 
There was another one but... I don't think it'll make any sense so I'll leave it like this! 

Cheers! 

I'm really sleepy now

Played LoL instead of studying today, as usual. 

So screwed for my exams oh godd. But it's so boring! I don't feel like studying my FoM. 

Anyway. Went out for dinner at Changi Airport Astons and ate some kinda spicy ish chicken thing. Which was nice! Just kinda.. well. Spicy.

Ohh had that annoying BC Mock presentation today which was so depressing. Like my hand gestures were awkward and my slides were boring. And. And. ARRGH BC SUCKS. 

So irritating. 

Anywayyy. 

Went home and played LoL but today was just an anyhow play game day. Like the first game, me and Ryan went to play custom games to try out characters we've never tried before. I tried to do support but.. yeah, kinda failed. As usual. 

But it wasn't  that bad! I mean, I helped. Yes. I helped. My shots did not miss. I was so supportive. 

Fine, so maybe my skills did miss a little. Just a bit. 

Who am I kidding. HAHA. I tried Nami and I missed her first skill big time. Ryan was all " YOU MISSED " and I'm like "YES I KNOW " 

Then we customed another game with Bryan and Mark V. which was totally depressing as well since I was up against Mark. Again. Who totally exposed my weakness. 

Failure to perform under pressure.. or something like that, you get the point. 

Sadly, I couldn't really deny that because it;s kinda true. Not just in a game point of view but in all aspects of my life, haha! 

Well not all  but most. Which is sad enough already. 

Anyway. I tried another new character after that which I totally sucked at but I still had some fun. Part of it was due to me killing the enemy's last champion, dashing Mark's hopes of a penta kill. 

I apologise for that, but I'm not sorry I killed that bugger. Like come on, my score looked so bad. It was a much needed kill to lift my spirits. 

What am I even saying haha. Think the brain's fried already, like so tired now. 

Tomorrow confirm panda eyes one. Oh well. 

Night all, thanks for the company, especially on such a depressing day like today. 
=) 

Sleep with a smile, and hope that tomorrow things will get better. 

I hope. 

Karma

Was actually planning on sleeping like, two hours ago but for some reason, everyone started stalking my blog and like oh my god even I'm laughing at myself! 

So how does karma fit in? Well.. I stalk other blogs so.. yeah end of story. I stalk, you stalk, everyone stalk. =>

Okay that doesn't make sense. Not that much anyway ><. 

It's not complete karma yet because I haven't gotten my sore throat. But maybe karma's planning to leave that till some super important presentation before throwing tonsilitis back at me. That's kinda scary. I should accumulate more good karma HAHA. 

So anyway, I just realised that my blog went from super childish ( yes I admit ) to somehow super emo to even more emo  and then ... back to normal I guess? 

Like oh my god  all the insecurities and inferior complex issues. So ridiculous that I can laugh. At myself. 

Yeah they say laughing at yourself builds... I don't know, character? Builds something. Yeah that's all I know! 

Okay I shouldn't be doing this when it's almost 3 in the morning. 

If only tomorrow no school. 

Goodnights yo! 

And LoL Bitches, you guys suck. In a good way. Somewhat. Depending. On the situation. HAHA. Nah you guys are cool. In a way. Kinda. 

Okay brain fried now people, BYE~ 

Learning new stuff

PACC got cancelled today. YAY! >=D 

But instead of going home straight to mug, Bryan and Mark dragged us to play pool. To which my first reaction was "Oh god nooooooo not pool againnnn." 

But I had fun. First lesson of the day! Don't judge pool. Haha. 

First pairing was with Mark V. And I was like thinking "Oh god nooooooo not Mark V. againnnnnn." I mean, that 1v1 turned last hit training in LoL the other time was kinda traumatising. 

Not really, but kind of. 

And I've never really said this but, he's kinda scary. Like, in the Ryan kind of way. A little. They're both a little scary to me, but no judgments there. 

Anyway, the first round was like stress stress stress because I suck so badly at pool and Mark V. doesn't and I know he wants to win, like duh, who wants to lose? 

And fine, Mark V. didn't exactly scold me at all. He just nagged. A lot. But he helped a lot too, so thanks! Those few minutes were way more beneficial than whatever my secondary school friends have been trying ( in vain ) to teach me. Yay! 

Second pairing was a whole lot more forgiving. Adam! Hahahaha stress begone. Because he is not scary at all~ 

Learned a whole lot of new ... uh. Balance cue stick thingies from Adam today! The knuckle, spider and etc. Shall try out the next time I play =P. 

Learned that those up down adjustable chairs are damn amusing as well today too! Thanks to BaoXin hahaha that bo liao girl happy disturbing everyone sitting on those chairs near her xP. It was really fun. 

Oh, Dad's home. And I'm sleepy. So I shall end here! 

What did I learn today besides pool? Hm. 

I have a lot of new friends in poly that are really cool. And awesome. In their own way. =) 

A fresh start always feels great! 

Cheers! 

Can't think of any appropriate title...

Well now, this is hard.

I declared just yesterday that no one would discover this blog, then being the absolute fool that I am/was (who cares about English here), I went ahead and did the exact opposite.

Anyway, I'm just hoping that my classmates aren't no-lifers like me and go on stalking sprees on blogs... well... yeah they're not. So I'm safe here. HAHA.

Skipped CCA today again since I have FOM presentation tomorrow and feeling insanely paranoid that all the seniors have a bad impression of me for skipping so often. Ahem I mean, I really wanted to go today! Like I brought all my stuff to school. 

Before I realised that IF i went to CCA, by the time I'm home and done with dinner, shower and settling down, it's bedtime and I'll be totally and completely exhausted. What can I say? I don't have good physical fitness. Tanking late at night is just not me.

Right now I'm just procrastinating practicing my FOM slides. Even went to the extent of combing Fluffy! 

Okay that was partially because I felt bad that Bryan and Valerie take such good care of their dogs and I don't. 

Not that it was a bad thing though hm.

Oh, and parking my ass in front of the computer worrying over a bag of chips about karma because I laughed at him so much today. Dude I'm sorry, but not that sorry. Just being honest here. Haha. 

Bag of chips is probably not the best option here but ... it was really tempting me! Silently. Of course.

Anyway. 

Oh gosh ITB presentation on 16 Aug? I should really pay more attention in class. I get this feeling that I'll be screwed for my exams and stuff. I should be studying but... worrying about it over a bag of chips is way more delicious. 

Oh! Thought of something just now!

Twinkle twinkle little star

Wish on non-existent stars

Up above the world so bright 

Hope your voice comes back tonight

Twinkle twinkle little star

Please don't strike me with karma. 

Okay. I'm just being super paranoid about karma now. And because I feel bad. For being so mean. See karma? Don't come after me. Okay I should totally start my work. Otherwise, I would have skipped CCA for naught. 

Hope Bryan gets his voice back tomorrow. Though if it doesn't, it'll still be funny. Heh. Okay. Should stop being mean. Later karma come find me. 

In the form of sore throat.

Before a presentation. 

With a loss of voice.

Dear Little one...

It's over a week since my little rabbit died. 

Somewhere inside me, even though it is clearly evident that she is no longer around, I am still denying the fact that she's gone. That she has already been cremated.

Strangely, just a few weeks before, Gen was sharing with me the poem One Art. 

One Art

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster,

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

- Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster. 

Elizabeth Bishop

How true is that? 

It is possible now to think and write of it without tears rolling down like crazy. But the pain stays. 

The art of losing is in fact, hard to master. 

So much I could have done, yet didn't. 

So much I could have noticed, yet I saw nothing. 

She was crying for attention, all the way till the end, yet I couldn't tell. 

Huh. this really fits I was not waving, but drowning.

My sweet little rabbit. I am sorry. For not being a good owner. For not letting you out when I should have. For not appreciating your presence in the kitchen, no matter how small it was. 

It is ironic how large your presence becomes now that you're gone. Simple actions such as cutting fruit pinches my heart. Because I want to turn around and give you  the first bite of the fruit before that greedy son of yours comes hopping by. 

But then I remember; you're not there to eat it anymore. 

I search my phone desperately for a recent photo of you, and I can't find one. You left me so suddenly, it is hard to accept. The regrets just keep piling up. 

I wish it were a dream. I wish that time could turn back. To hold your warm body and shower you with the affection you deserved before your last breath. Oh, how I wish could. 

It was a lie, to say that I have gotten over it. To say that no tears would be shed as I remember you.

As I grieve your passing, I pray and hope that you're up there somewhere with Rabbit and Dale, in large fields and the strength of a young bunny, enjoying the life that you so rightly deserve. 

Love, 

Yan Er  

Romance and Stuff

Being a relationship has really changed the way I view romance in shows and books. Whether or not for the better is a whole other thing. 

Oh, and may I take this moment to credit this blog's inspiration to the movie 'Flightplan', which starts out with the death of the main character's husband. 

So back to what I wanted to say. In the past, or more specifically last year, I would have turned my nose up at romance novels. One example was Twilight when it first came out when I was Primary six. Everyone was into that book and I thought, why not try and join in? 

However, the moment I heard that it was about romance ( according to my classmates then, I only heard about the vampire part a year later or so ), I rejected the very idea of poking my nose into that book. 

Cheesy lines and oh so romantic stuff made me shiver and fidget in discomfort. The whole idea of it was just... bleh. Even having crushes made me feel uncomfortable. Thinking about it now, it seems like I was really a weird person! 

Moving on from there, I became more and more cynical towards people in relationships and the whole concept of luuuurve. Maybe it was because of my parents' situation, who knows? Romance didn't appeal too much to me and PDA (holding hands included) really made me annoyed. 

Okay at this point, maybe you're thinking that I'm just jealous or what. Hmm, a worthy point to consider, but I was really against relationships in secondary schools so, that's probably out. 

Buut that's not the point. The point here is that I was cynical about the whole luurve thing and stuff when coming across such things in books or shows, I would simply roll and eyes flip the page or forward the movie.

One change though, in upper secondary, I started to show interest in (eeks) high school romance mangas. What can I say? They're adorable! 

So this continued all the way until I got asked out and started behaving the exact same manner (holding hands) as what i had criticized my whole life. Quite a change, huh? Unknowingly, my mindset was changing. 

I realised this when I was reading Mitch Albom's 'Five people you meet in heaven' and felt so sad for the man when his wife died, sad in a way I had never felt before. ( Usually I'd be 'okay that's sad, but let's move on with life people'. Mean, yes I know.) This time however, I felt so sad that when he got to meet his wife in heaven, I felt so happy for him and touched that even after so long, he still loved her so much. 

So, back to Flightplan. At the beginning of the show, all I could think of was how horrible the wife must feel, having to see her husband dead and yada yada yada. 

Yes I'm getting tired of feeling all the luuurve and romance and stuff. But you get the idea. I've changed, end of story. 

I guess you can say that I'm more feeling now, and not that sadistic. In a way.

Now, I shall return to watching Flightplan which thankfully has no romance in it because otherwise, I would be squirming throughout the whole movie. =) 

Cheers! 
Yan Er 

Not so bad after all!

Today wasn't so bad, had a lot of fun but right now I'm like just really really tired. The worst thing is, I have training tomorrow and project work in the west. Kill me. 

I'm just kidding. About the killing part. 

Anyway, today, I met up with Samantha who agreed to accompany me to Giant to find a pair of cheap track pants for my camp next week since sadly, I have none. Or more like I threw out the pair I used in Secondary 3 foolishly believing that I would never have to use it for overseas trips ever again. I guess that goes to show that women's intuition isn't always right! 

So we took bus 168, which according to my sister would bring us there, but had no idea which stop to alight. Thankfully, Sam decided to double check with iris and we managed to get off the right stop before hitting the TPE. 

A rare moment where iris actually helps. 

Upon alighting however, instead of making a beeline to Giant to get the chore over and done with, we, like typical teenage girls, decided that we were hungry and should stop by IKEA first to get some food and other things while we were at it. After 'ooo-ing' and 'ahh-ing' over some stuffed toys on display in IKEA, we finally settled in the cafe and shared a meal of meatballs and soup, which was surprisingly very filling! 

I would love to post a photo here, but unfortunately, android isn't very user-friendly to me. Hopefully, I can figure out just exactly how to transfer photos to this computer...

Okay, while the device is installing or whatever, let me continue. =) 

Oh okay here! 

Meatballs from IKEA! 

After that, we walked around IKEA to 'digest our food' and I almost completely forgot all about the track pants I had to get. 

Finally at Giant, we found some track pants but holy crap they were so ugly. And more importantly, they made me look SO FAT. Okay not trying to be a bimbo about this, but seriously! It was so ugly and so fat. I couldn't stand them. 

Thank god I found another pair that fitted better on me and didn't make my legs look like walking chicken drumsticks. 

After checking out, I noticed they were having this book sale thing, $5 for a book! Being the cheapos we are, Sam and I began browsing through the whole mess of books and surprisingly, she found one and bought it! Her very first book bought by herself. *So proud of her* =)) 

Back in Tampines, we went to the specs shop near my house ( downstairs actually ) and spent around an hour looking and trying on different frames. In the end, my sister popped by and helped me decide on one, frameless! It was kind of pricey, but oh well! 

Went window shopping with Samantha after that while waiting for the guys to finish swimming so that we could have dinner and after waiting for them for a half hour after the time we were supposed to meet, we settled down for dinner at the food court before parting ways. 

I am so not looking forward to my Batam trip next week. I mean, come on, I don't know anyone there! And four days? Ugh. I am a city girl, not one who embraces the wilderness. Nope, never! 

Before I end, I shall post more photos because I think it's fun to post photos! 

Actually stepped into Crocs -.-

Yes, I cam whore only with friends because I have no self cam techniques. 

Oh and Gen, no need to thank me for the nail addiction ;) I would be too, only I'm way too lazy to be addicted to that! 

Cheers! 
Yan Er 

Deep Sayings

I just wanted to write this down before I forget! 

I was reading Fairy Tail and right on the front page of chapter 334 was Gray Fullbuster ( I think ) with this saying! 

" I don't know what the future brings. that's why I live and laugh in the present " 

It sounded so nice and cool, haha! 

Oh and by the way, Scarlett O Hara is from the book Gone with the wind! That's an 'oops' on my part. 

Okay I shall continue reading my manga now. 

Cheers! 

Yan Er 

Wasn't as bad as expected.

The computer is a great laxative I swear. Anyone with constipation should just sit and relax in front of a computer and whoosh, problem solved! 

Okay that was random and maybe a little too much information, heh. 

In any case, I thought that I would take a mini break from doing my econs ( Q1a haha ) and breathe some life into my usually dead blog! 

Today wasn't so bad a day; the only downside was the horribly long train rides from the east to the west. I honestly cannot understand how the westerners can sit in a bus or a train for hours travelling in the same state and not feel like dying. Well, not literally, of course, but you get what I mean. 

In the end, I was late for my training in Clementi but it wasn't a bad thing. When I reached the courts, I realised that they had just finished doing court sprints ( something that I hate and absolutely suck at ), big sigh of relief! After that, we just spent the next one hour or so training our backhand stroke but for the second half hour, the seniors introduced a new rule to the court; if our ball didn't land beyond the middle line on the court floor, it was 5 push-ups, and if we managed to hit behind the service box, he would do one push-up. 

Obviously, we all ended up doing a whole lot of push-ups, including myself. Yeah, I know that lobbing the ball would save my arms, but it ended up being out, so it was still 5 push-ups, clumsy me. On the plus side, Sherman had to do 40 push-ups in total! It wasn't so bad after all. 

After training, I rushed to Dover to meet my group mates at FC 4 and downed my lunch as quickly as I could before our long trek to the main library in the hot sun. Thank goodness I was already sweaty from the training earlier! 

As soon as we settled down, I trudged back to Moberly to take a quick shower before heading back to do our project on, yes, Crocs.  

It is still beyond me why such hideous ( personal opinion here, no bashing please ) clogs cost a minimum of $39.90. Then again, what do I know about consumer wants and fashion? 

Although it is generally agreed that any teenager sporting the classic Crocs clogs would be judged the instant light reflects the image of the shoes into our eyes. Don't tell me otherwise, we all know that's true. Most of the time. 

In any case, their company website was pretty informative, which made life a whole lot easier, so thumbs up for that! Good thing they're well-established, again for reasons beyond my understanding seeing that I'm so biased.

Oh before I end, let me write down/share what I read from my dear friend Genevieve's wordpress because the sayings are so nice and I'm afraid to forget them! 

" To be alone does not mean being lonely, and to be lonely does not mean being alone.  "

And 

"Tomorrow is another day."

I would do the Harvard style citation that my school insists we use, but I have no idea how. According to her, the first one's from a book I know not what, and the second is from the "Scarlet Letter" if I'm not wrong, since it's Scarlett O Hara saying it. 

Okay, deep sayings saved for another time. It's back to work for me! 

Cheers! 
Yan Er 

My best guy friend is the best for a reason.

Okay on that last post I kinda said that my best guy friend wasn't being 'caring' and all that? I take it back. 

Here's what happened. On Wednesday last week, I was supposed to meet up with Shu Ang to study Accounting together at BK but I was out of money, so off I went to the ATM. 

BUT. The bloody ATM ate my card so off I went to the bank for a new one. I was praying that the bank wouldn't be crowded (and it wasn't, I'm just picky) but there was a full queue oh my god. I thought to myself, " Hey no biggie, queue could be worse than this." Desperate to get my card since my wallet was completely void anything related to money, I just decided to queue and informed Shu Ang that I would be late. 

Probably five minutes after I started queuing, my body decided to remind me that I was still sick. Of all times. -.- The AC suddenly felt unbearable and my head was beginning to feel lightheaded and I knew trouble was coming. In reality, all I thought was "Shit are you kidding me! Not again oh god." 

Not caring about the judgmental people in the bank, I just slouched and bent over like a hunchback while leaning on the wall, thank heaven for the wall. Man I was feeling horrible. After a long while, I decided to inform Shu Ang that nope no way I'm going to study out, I have to go home and rest real quick! I quickly called him with the hopes that he would be able to, oh I don't know, help a little since he was the closest person I knew in Tampines and available. 

The response? " K bye. " And that was before I could try explaining anything. Maybe the frustration gave me strength to think a bit about what to do next, I can't say for sure haha. But in any case, I prayed that my best guy friend was awake and at home in Pasir Ris and sent him a message informing him I was unwell and at the bank so " if anything happens, that's where I am " 

Not long after, I was served and got out of that place with the same lightheaded feeling. Unsure if it had to do with sugar levels or something, I decided to just drag myself to Macs and get a drink. Obviously I wasn't thinking straight, because instead of a drink screaming HIGH IN SUGAR like Coke, I got Milo. Way to go, haha! 

Then, I got a message from Adam telling me to stay where you are and gosh imagine my surprise! I was like thinking, that dude is going to drag himself all the way here? 

And drag himself he did. One of my best friends on earth heard I wasn't feeling too good at the bank and came over to help me if needed and check if I was fine. Nothing can describe how touched I was! 

Thankfully, I was feeling better after getting out of that place and drinking some milo so I suggested lunch and we settled down for PastaMania before walking around a bit and then heading back home. 

But this isn't the end of it. 

Just the other night, he called to 'check up' on me, ask if the fever's still there and all that, any rash. I got suspicious and a little worried since it's the first time he's ever done that (don't scare me dude!) but he called just for that and it really made my day. =) 

So to the best guy friend ever whose belated birthday card is still non-existent, thanks for everything during my whole two weeks plus of being sick! When I say that ' you're the best ', I really mean it! =D 

Okay shall continue about today another day, maybe tomorrow? =P 

Cheers! 
Yan Er   

Back Again

School started not long ago, and yeah I decided to go to Singapore Polytechnic instead of a Junior College. And the same course as my sister too! I just hope I enjoy Business Admin. 

I just felt like ranting a little today, feeling the same-old same-old unhappiness. Yeah ranting while watching Ye Shi Ren Shen and the bad guy's feeling depressed and wants to jump off and the equally bad son running to get her and... strangely the background music sounds joyful. 
Okay let them have their flashbacks so I can continue .. 

So. I fell sick over the weekend after my sister did and well the only people who cared were like my FOM groupmates who told me to get well soon and all that since I couldn't work on the projects and my sis who was sick at the same time.. oh and Voon Kit too who came over to visit me today... ^^ 

Ahem anyway. What exactly was it I wanted to say ...

Ohhhhhhh okay I think I remember. I expressed my worry about the strange .. ohmygod they both want to jump off the building!! 

Jumpjumpjumpjumpjumpjumpjump...

Okay that's mean of me. But they're bad people! Just hurry up and jump or something oh god they have been trying for what, 10 minutes?! 

Ahh anyway as I was saying. I expressed .. 

MYGOD THEY DIDN'T JUMP AND DIE!

Right I'm so touched that the bad guys have feelings -.- 

Now back to what I've been trying to say! 

Yesterday I found this weird lump on the right side of my neck and it felt weird since the left side of my neck didn't have it. Today, it seemed to have gotten a bit weirder or something and on the top of that, high fever =/ 

I felt like .. sharing my worries with one of my best guy friends about this since well I see him all the time now but well... okay he did respond to me.. for a bit. Then it was like he ignored it until he felt like saying something. Every single time. When I mentioned being ill for the day he just ignored it as well and went on about his woes and troubles for not doing his work earlier. 

I mean, I shouldn't be upset over something like this.  Something like this screams insecurity and all that crap. But I realised just how.. I don't know, weird it felt being in a class with no one else that I can truly connect and be myself. 

A fake mask put on for school everyday because in poly, you just have to be social. Not saying that I don't like that mask entirely.. after all, it is the person that I've always wanted to be. But honestly I just realised how it totally wasn't like me at all. 

I am the quiet girl that doesn't speak much. Not the loud and crazy girl. 

And it just makes me feel more... I don't know, unwanted? It just feels like no one cares anymore and I feel alone again. 

Even after all this time, I'm still sitting by the phone thinking, "Are they going to bother replying me or are they ignoring me?" 

It's like being desperate for a little attention and I really hate it. 

Okay gotta go bathe and all! It's late already! And there's school tomorrow >< 

Cheers!